Announcing the Much-Anticipated Software Release 1.0
from the merger of Fen.net and ElaineSosa.com

Introducing the Product that will Revolutionize the Way We Live:
Steven Labalme

Specifications:
Release date:
18 November, 2001, 4:23 AM PST
Location:
California Pacific Medical Center
San Francisco, California
Compatibility:
Coincides with Grand Père Labalme's birthday
Space requirements:
Twenty-one inches
Carrying capacity:
Seven pounds, thirteen ounces
Parental units:
Fen Labalme and Elaine Sosa
Planetary Alignments:
Scorpio Sun and Capricorn Moon with Libra Rising
MTBF (mean time between feeding):
Three hours
New self-upgrading system architecture
Installation notes:

  • Works best with lots of personal care
  • Requires regular recharging from two beautiful, portable feeding stations
  • Will require high levels of maintenance during first eighteen years of operation
  • A high return on investment is guaranteed

    Reviews:

    "I can't believe how cute he is!"
    --Elaine, overjoyed, in her own purple haze
    "It's amazing how they get so much processing power into such a small package."
    --Fen, totally in love and blown away at being a father
    "Garbage in, garbage out."
    --Steven (rough translation)
    		• Steven
    Steven Gabriel Labalme at eight hours old